The Monster Within Me
by ziandra
Summary: There were some nights I wondered why it happened, why I was so different why I had chosen my adoptive mother. It happened so long ago. The night I changed into a monster was the worst night of my life.  NO FLAMES PLEASE!
1. Part 1: How it Started--Chapter 1

Hello!

I changed it from chapters-part something to Parts-chapters something.

I thought that that made a little more sense.

Part one-chapters 1-4 are corrected (previously Chapter 1-Parts 1-4)

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><p>The Monster Within Me<p>

Part One: How it Started

Chapter 1

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><p><em>My POV<em>

There were some nights I wondered why it happened, why I was so different why I had chosen my adoptive mother. It happened so long ago. The night I changed into a monster was the worst night of my life. I hate knowing that that beast is inside of me and that there are times I can't stop it. I feel weak because I can't stop it. Sometimes I think I would be better off dead. If I were nobody would get hurt.

It was autumn, and the leaves were just changing colors. There was a full moon that night. I liked looking at the moon, I thought it was pretty. I never thought the moon would become my enemy, the marker of my change. It was really late, about eleven pm. I had woken up feeling funny. My body felt all tingly. It only too soon turned into pain, sharp pain, like a knife cutting through every part of my body.

I screamed loudly from the sudden pain and closed my eyes tightly as tears began to drip from them. My parents were beside my bed within seconds. I couldn't really hear what they were saying. My heart was pounding in my head and the pain began to worsen which didn't seem possible. I gave out a roar that sounded strange to my ears, but dismissed it when I felt like my body was being stretched. I thought I was going to throw up. I heard my parents scream and my unearthly roar-howl. Tears were streaming down my face now. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse the pain began to subside, leaving my entire body tingling and not the good kind either.

I opened my eyes and blinked. Everything was blurry. I gave a confused growl. Then a scent hit my nostrils that made my mouth water, blood. I couldn't see very well but I could sense and hear movement. I growled again, but this time deeper and further back in my throat. I attacked it, my claws digging into flesh. Wait, Claws? My head lowered and I bit my victim. There were screams then something hitting me. I turned around and dug my teeth into its flesh. My eyes closed as I began to savor the taste of blood, only making me want more.

I opened my eyes and froze. I had bitten my dad? What happened? I released my jaw from his shoulder than slowly looked behind me fearing what I might see. My heart pounded and tears swelled in my eyes, my mom was dead too. What did I do? What was wrong with me? I stood up and almost fell over. My body felt imbalanced. I looked down at my hand expecting to see it covered in blood which it was but it wasn't just covered with my skin. There were scales and fur on it too. My eyes widened. I did not scream. I was too frightened, plus I was already way beyond screaming.

Slowly I turned my head towards my mirror. Looking at my reflection only made my heart beat faster and louder. This was not me. It couldn't be me. It didn't look anything like me. This creature had dark violet hair while I had blond, and it's eyes were dark red not my blue eyes and the strange body was covered in scales, fur and pale skin, leathery bat looking wings stretched out from its spine, a dragon tail extended out of its rear and two rusty red horns stuck out of the creature's head, fangs hung out of its mouth and its hands looked claw like and there was a bloody looking X across its upper face. I felt now was the right time to scream. I screamed as loud and hard as I possibly could. I knew no one would hear me. We lived outside of town and away from other houses. Our house stood at the edge of a forest. I watched as the reflection screamed. What happened to me? I looked like a horrible monster.

I ran away, deep into the woods, on all fours, bloody tears streaming down my face. I always knew I was different, but this was ridiculous. I had always been able to sense things in an unusual way, and my eyes had glowed white a couple of times when I was by myself. I tripped over a root and fell crashing to the forest floor. I lay there panting. Most of my energy had been drained. The adrenaline in my body was decreasing. After a few moments my breathing and heart rate slowed, but no energy rose. I lay there completely exhausted. Then the pain flooded back into my body making me scream. I thrashed around in pain, my body trembling. When the mysterious pain disappeared I shivered, not from the pain or tingling, but from the cold. The cold? I hadn't been cold before. I opened my eyes. Everything was hazy for a minute before my vision cleared. My head throbbed. I felt myself and when I didn't feel anything strange I looked down at myself. All the abnormalities, the inhumanness was gone. My hair was blond, my eyes blue. Everything was completely normal. Had the whole thing been a dream? It couldn't have been, I was still covered in blood, and it wasn't mine.

Things just had to get worse didn't it? I sensed them/it, whatever, before it arrived. Their energy was like nothing I had sensed before. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. It appeared as if shadows with red eyes were rising out of the shadows. This couldn't be real, I had to be dreaming. But my senses told me otherwise. They were real. I sat up with wide eyes. They began to creep towards me. I hissed and barred my teeth. They screeched at me with an unnatural voice. Before I even had a chance to either run or defend myself a chain made out of black energy wrapped around my ankles, pulling me to the ground. I hissed again and dug my claws into the dirt as they tried to pull me into some big swirl of whiteness. I barked in protest. Barked? And clawed at the ground as they began to drag me along the ground, squawking at me the entire time.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

I opened my eyes in confusion as I sensed something, making me fall from my meditation position to the floor. "Something's wrong … really, really wrong" I said aloud. I heard a scream, inside my head. I had to do something. I disappeared in a swirl of darkness and appeared a few feet away from what I had sensed. I blinked as I quickly took in the situation. A little girl was being dragged by what humans would call shadow creatures. They were dragging her towards a portal. They hadn't noticed me yet.

"Let her go, NOW!" I warned.

Shadow creatures are the creatures of demons. They create them and become his/her minions. My eyes glowed white and my energy surrounded my hands. They stopped and looked at me. A few of them shook. They were afraid of me. And well, they should be.

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><p><em>My POV<em>

As I heard a voice yell out "Let her go, NOW!"

I raised my eyes from the ground. In front of me a few feet away was a woman wearing strange clothes, her eyes glowing the same white mine had before and blackness was surrounding her hands. Her voice almost made me shake. She kind of looked scary. I heard the things give a loud hiss then about five broke away from the group and stepped towards the woman.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

Five took a step towards me.

My eyes narrowed, "fine have it your way. Prepare to be destroyed!"

They began to run at me. I shot at them hitting two as the other three dodged it. I swayed to the right missing one trying to bite me. My hand grasped around its throat.

"Tell me why you are here" I ordered.

"HER" it squealed looking at the girl.

"Really" I said sarcastically.

That much was already clear. I held back my shout as one bit me in my left calf, making me drop the creature in my hand and also making me fall to the ground. They prepared to jump on me. My powers surrounded me and shot outward as they leapt at me. I held them tightly. By this point the girl was standing and the others were watching. They growled, released the child then ran at me. I blasted them all away and stepped protectively in front of the child. She immediately started to cling to me. She grasped my right leg which wasn't bleeding. Her actions didn't really help as I dragged her around as I moved.

"Let go" I said trying to sound gentle. I'm pretty sure my voice sounded anything but gentle. She only held onto me tighter.

I had had enough. It was time to end this.

"Azarath Metrion Xinthos" I yelled.

Energy erupted from my body, grabbing hold of each one. My soul rose from my body in the shape of a raven and flew upwards. My energy holding them drew them into my soul where I locked them deep within my mind to get some info from them later. I fell back into my body and opened my eyes. I winced. Her fingernails were digging into my bare leg. I attempted to pry her off. She wouldn't let go.

"If you won't let go at least stop digging your nails into my leg" I said surprisingly calmly, which was far from what I was feeling.

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><p><em>My POV<em>

She protected me. She fought… them. It appeared she had the same energy as the chain that had wrapped around my ankle. She made me feel safe and calm. I didn't want her to ever leave me. I wanted this feeling to stay forever. As soon as she was in front of me I grasped her leg. I was scared and needed something to cling to. She didn't seem very happy about that. When she told me to let go, it only made me hold on tighter. There was no way I was letting go; I was scared out of my mind. When I realized I was digging my finger nails into her skin I loosened my grip. She tried to tear me off of her. This time I let her, but I did not let go of her arms. I needed to be held, told it was going to be okay.

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><p><em>Beastboy POV<em>

I dropped my video game controller in defeat and gave a sigh. Cyborg began to do a victory dance.

"I'm gonna go check on Raven" I said.

Robin looked at me quizzically.

"She's been in her room for like three hours, I just want to make sure she's okay…" I trailed off.

"That's a first" Robin said.

Cyborg looked at me knowingly, "BB just wants to ask her something".

Robin raised an eye brow, "really?"

"Dude, not that" I yelled knowing he thought I was going to ask her out, which I kind of was, but not like that.

"Mmnm, sure" said Robin. He was obviously enjoying this. I gave a slight growl then left.

I knocked on her door, "hey… uh, Raven?"

When I didn't hear an answer I began to ask her. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself then began to speak. I hope all this practicing in the mirror paid off.

"So… um… I was thinking… maybe we should do something, together… not like a date or anything, but like as two friends, get to know each other more, figure out how not to annoy you and get killed by you" I chuckled.

When I didn't hear anything I knocked on the door again. "Uh, Raven… you in there?"

The door opened. I expected to see her there glaring at me and telling me she was meditating and to go away, but no one was there.

"Oh, come on" I yelled, "I've been practicing that for hours and I finally get the courage and you're not even there."

Maybe she's on the roof I thought. But we hadn't seen her come out of her room yet, so where was she. Probably teleported or something" I sighed then walked to the main room.

"So… what'd she say?" asked Cyborg.

I looked at him and sighed, "she wasn't even there."

Robin looked up from his newspaper, "have you tried the roof?"

"Not yet, but… she hasn't even come out of her room. We never saw her or heard her"

Robin shrugged.

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><p>Raven POV<p>

I finally got her off my leg only to have her cling to my arm. Her eyes were filled with fear and she was almost shaking. She needed me. She needed someone to care. And I was going to be that person.

I lifted her up and pressed her against the front of my body. She buried her face into my breasts and cried. This felt awkward. I had never in my life held a small child before or anyone for that matter. I rocked her back and forth and told her she was safe now and that I wouldn't let anything hurt her. She believed me, but the weird thing was I believed it. I was her protector at that moment. As I held her I healed my left leg with my mind.

She was half asleep when I asked her where her parents were. She woke up at once and started bawling. I guess I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't really know what to do. I had never really been good with kids. They were too annoying. She wailed that they were dead. I bit my lip. I felt real sorry for her. She had no one that I knew of at least… except for me.

"Did the creatures kill them?" I asked.

She only cried harder. I took that as a yes.

I began to hold her tighter sensing that she liked the pressure. She began to calm. She was almost asleep. I needed to get her out of here.

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><p><em>My POV<em>

She lifted me up and I buried my face into her and cried. Her calm voice telling me it was okay calmed me a bit. I liked the feeling of her. When she asked about my parents I saw the image of me tearing them apart. I cried harder. I couldn't let her know what I did. I couldn't let her know what I was. What was I? If she knew she might not care about me.

I was so tired. I was basically asleep in her arms. My eyes were barely open and my breathing was slow and even.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

Her eyes were all squinted up. She was trying hard to stay awake. I rocked her back and forth. The motion instantly lulled her to sleep. I would have taken her home with me right then except I knew I needed to contact the authorities in this area. I knew they might not let me stay with her. I was already growing sort of attached to her. She couldn't have been older than five.

I sighed, and shifted her to one hip and dug out my communicator from my pocket inside my cloak. I flicked it open. The screen was black.

"Wow, that's great… it's dead" I said to myself sarcastically.

I needed to find a phone, but there was a small problem. I had no idea where the heck I was. I was in a forest, surrounded by trees.

"Great. The one day I forget to charge my phone I need it."

I simply stood there, like a complete idiot. I just need to pick a direction and go in it I decided. But what if I just get us even more lost? I'm gonna have to wake her, maybe she knows what direction to go in. I sat her body more up and whispered into her ear.

"Hey, uh, can you wake up, please."

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I hated this feeling.

"Five more minutes" mumbled the girl.

"I'd gladly give you that time, but I have no idea where we are?"

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><p><em>Beastboy POV<em>

"Guy's it's been like three hours, I'm calling her".

"She's probably fine" said Robin," calling her might just bug her".

"I too am much worried" said Starfire, "something terrible may have happened. Oh I do hope she is the okay."

I dialed the number in my phone and pressed call. I waited for her to pick up and of course she didn't, it went straight to voice mail. I flicked my phone shut, "didn't answer. Either phone's turned off, or it's dead."

Starfire gasped "died, the small device died! Oh the poor little thing!"

I starred at Starfire and tried to keep myself from laughing. Robin explained it to her right away.

"Uh, Star… the phone wasn't alive to begin with, Beastboy just means it's simply not charged up. As in there's no power in it."

Starfire sighed in relief, "oh that makes much more sense. Thank-you Robin."

"Sure thing Star" said Robin.

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><p><em>My POV<em>

I felt my body rise up a bit then a voice whispered in my ear. I opened an eye then the other one and starred in confusion. Where was I, and who was holding me. I remembered seconds later what happened. I almost started crying again. I looked up at her. She was watching me. "Do you have any idea where we are?" she asked. I blinked and thought about it, looked around then nodded my head yes. She looked at me with an expression that said, well, are you going to tell me.

"My home is to the right and about a mile away I think" I said.

"Thank you" she said. She lifted her head up and rose in the air. I gave a surprised sound.

"It's okay" she assured.

I snuggled into her deeper and held onto her tighter as well. I didn't know how we were in the air, but I was not going to fall to the ground.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

I began flying in the direction of her house. When I rose in the air she became nervous. I assured her it was okay. Her eyes calmed and she began to hold on tighter to my arm. After a few minutes I asked her what her name was and how old she was. She looked at me with a kind of brightness in her eyes and replied that her name was Lilith and that she was four. Four, she was four, why, she was so young. I felt much empathy for her. I kind of knew how she felt, not exactly in this specific situation, but I had gone through numerous things that were, well, unpleasant. Lilith started chattering about different things. I didn't really listen. Too many things were on my mind. She seemed to know I wasn't listening and didn't really care. Talking made it so she think of other things instead of the terrible things that had occurred.

When the house was within seeing distance, Lilith grew quiet and her eyes became somewhat teary. This place had too many bad memories at the moment. This was where it had all started. She didn't want to come back and be reminded. She held onto me even tighter. Her hands were like a tourniquet around my arm. Her small body was tense and her hairs were standing on end.

"Can… we please … not go down there?" asked Lilith.

I stopped with a sigh and looked at her, "I have to use the phone, if it's working and I'd like to take a look at the scene. You don't have to go in if you don't want to, but I have to."

She bit her lip and thought about it then said that she was not leaving me and her grip tightened on me which I didn't even think was possible. My arm was growing numb from the loss of circulation, but I didn't tell her to loosen her grip. If this comforted her then she could hold onto me as tight as she wanted until we were out and away from the house.

She closed her eyes tight as I walked down the hall to her room. I starred. Blood was everywhere, as where claw marks. The kill was gruesome. The two bodies in the room that were her parents I presumed were almost completely torn apart. I'd seen some pretty bad stuff, but this, it was almost too much. I did not cry. I pushed all my emotions away. I had to be strong, if not for myself, for the sake of Lilith.

I walked out of the room and back to the main room where I stood there holding Lilith in a tight grip and breathing in and out slowly. She had started to cry. Her face was buried in my shoulder which was beginning to be soaked with tears. I needed to get her out of here as soon as possible.

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><p><em>My POV<em>

Going back, to that place, where it had all happened, where I became a monster was almost too much. My heart beat fast and loud, and my breathing had quickened and became shallower. I held onto her has hard and tight as I possibly could. I couldn't seem to get close enough to her body. I wanted out, away from here. We went in. I stayed with her. There was no way I could let go. I shut my eyes tight as we turned down the hall to my room, my bloody room. Tears swelled in my eyes.

I could sense her shock, her sadness, anger, and so many more emotions. It only made me feel worse. I had done that, I had killed them. What had happened to me?

When she left the room she held me even tighter. She breathed in and out slowly, trying to keep herself calm. I began to cry harder. There were too many emotions in my head and they weren't just mine. This had never happened before. I had never felt someone else's emotions before.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

She cried herself to sleep in my arms. Her body relaxed as sleep took her over. I set her on the couch and put my cloak on top of her. Then I picked up the phone and dialed 911. I had no idea what the address was, but they could figure that out easy enough. I pushed various buttons until I actually got a real person to talk to. I summed up what had happened, well at least the parts they would understand. Help was sent right away. They'd be here in about twenty minutes. I hung the phone up and looked at Lilith. She finally looked relaxed. Her body wasn't tense anymore and there was actually circulation in my arms. She had a tight grip.

I was finally beginning to tire. I needed to meditate and sleep … and call my friends I realized. I'd been gone for a long time. They were probably curious as to where I was and Starfire was probably about ready to send out a search party. I looked at the phone and yawned. I'd call later I needed to sit down and rest for a few moments at least.

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><p><em>Starfire POV<em>

"Friends I am too worried about Raven to sit still. We must find her. Oh where could she be? She's been away for so long. I am beginning to miss her I think", my voice was full of worry and concern.

Robin was trying to calm me, but it was not working. Everyone including him had become somewhat worried as to her whereabouts. We had heard nothing from her. I was beginning to think of the worst. I mustn't think about such things, will only make things worse. We hadn't a clue to where our dark friend had gone. We had looked everywhere she might be and even places she wouldn't be. We had searched the whole city and Titans East had looked in theirs. We came up with nothing. I was growing frustrated. I had never felt this way before. I did not like it.

Beastboy almost seemed as unsettled as me, though he would not show it. I am curious as to why the males here try to bottle up their feelings. Oh I have so much to learn.


	2. Part 1: How it Started--Chapter 2

The Monster Within Me

Part One: How It Started

Chapter Two

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><p><em>My POV<em>

My mind slipped into the woman's mind. I'm not entirely sure how I even ended up there. She didn't seem to know that I was there, accidently invading her space. It was dark and in the center of well wherever, she sat meditating, sitting crisscrossed in the air. I stood there confused and watched. How did she not know I was in here? I was pretty sure with the powers she had that they would include sensing things, like when someone went into their mind. She whispered three alien words. What did they mean?

Then I was somewhere else. My mind, hers I don't know. It was pitch black. I couldn't even see my hand right in front of my face. I shivered. It was cold. Not the cold like temperature, but cold as in feeling, like sensing, emotion maybe. I felt scared. I began to tense up and my arms wrapped around myself protectively.

Images suddenly presented themselves before me. It was like I was watching a movie almost. I had to still be in her mind. I think these things I was seeing were memories, her memories. None of them made sense, and I only got little snips of each one before it changed into something completely different.

Then everything stopped. It became dark again. I opened my eyes and blinked sleepily. My fists rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I yawned then looked at her. I didn't even know her name, or at least not yet. I sensed the people before she did.

Cars with blaring sirens pulled up into the driveway. She then opened her eyes and looked at me. She didn't say anything. She stood up picked me up then walked to the door. I went to squeezing her arm again. I was nervous. I knew they were good people, but I still didn't actually know them and I didn't know if they were going to take me away from her. I was afraid they would. I was afraid someone would find out that it was me. That I was the reason my parents were dead, in my room, soaked in blood. She whispered to me that it was okay when I squeezed her tighter.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

I opened my eyes when I heard the sirens. The police or whoever was here. Lilith looked at me nervously. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. I stood, picked her up and went to the door. As soon as she was in my arms the circulation was cut off again. She was scared. She didn't know what was going to happen. She squeezed me tighter when my left hand went for the doorknob. I stopped, and whispered to her that it was okay, nothing bad was going to happen and that I wouldn't let it. Her eyes calmed, but her grip did not loosen. I was the only one she trusted at the moment.

I turned the door handle and opened the door, slowly, trying to keep Lilith calm. As soon as the door was open all the way she went to burying her head into my cloak I had wrapped around her and pressed herself up against me. I didn't pull my cloak of her head. I let her hide. When she was ready she'd come out.

The looks I got from the police reminded me of how different I really was, and how not everyone would accept me or trust me, that I was weird in their minds. The looks angered me slightly, but I pushed it away. They didn't know me and really had no idea what I would look like. I was just not what they expected.

I could feel Lilith tense up. She could sense all the eyes that were on us, or mainly me. It made her nervous. She pressed against me harder and squeezed my already numbing arm tighter. She wanted out. She wanted to be somewhere she felt safe. The closest she was getting was being up against me under my cloak.

My eyes were emotionless but not cold, my lips neutral, neither smiling nor frowning. They continued to stare at me, saying nothing. They weren't exactly judging me, they were just surprised. Surprised by the fact that I was so pale and wearing a leotard, that my hair and eyes were violet and that I had a birthmark on my forehead. I gave an impatient sigh and asked them to quit staring at me, that I knew I looked different. My voice was colder than I meant it to be. My words snapped them back to reality and they went on like nothing had happened, like I was actually normal.

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><p><em>My POV<em>

I could sense all the eyes on us. It only made me even more nervous. I was almost shaking. I held onto her has tight as I could. I couldn't get enough of her calmness into me. I could also sense her annoyance. She didn't like the starring either. I shook ever so slightly when she told them to quit starring. Her voice sounded so cold to me, yet almost comforting.

They finally began to speak. I didn't listen to what was said or even going on. I kept my self hidden and tight in her arms. The only things I could really hear were my own breathing and her heartbeat. Each harmonic beat was comforting. It made me feel warm and sleepy. I didn't fight it. I let my heavy eyes close and sleep take me away from the world.

My dreams were strange and didn't really make sense. What had happened repeated itself dozens of times before it changed and turned into her memories I had seen a bit earlier. Then it changed yet again to a room with four people. None of them really looked normal. One was green, another robotic, one wearing a mask, and a girl floating in the air looking worried. Then everything went black, but I did not wake up. I simple dreamt of nothing else and basically just sat there in my mind.

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><p><em>Raven POV<em>

As they spoke to me it made me feel like they thought I was dumb. They were talking slow and simple. They didn't think I knew anything about the police system, or how a crime scene worked. They thought I was scared and had no idea what I was doing. I could have disappeared right there and simply left, but somehow I kept myself there.

"I know how this works" I finally said to them, "I do this like, every day, granted it doesn't involve murder, but I think I can handle it without you slowly, telling me what to do."

They all looked at me taken aback. "Really" said one "do you have a badge?"

"Not exactly" I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked a different one.

My eyes had somewhat narrowed by now. I was annoyed. I simply wanted to get Lilith out of here and go home. I almost growled. Most of them were skeptical and didn't really believe me. I was about ready to blow something up. I never really had to deal with this before. This was new, and I didn't like it.

I ignored the question and instead asked "are we going to the station or not?"

That seemed to perk them up and get them off my back. I needed to cool down.

Lilith popped her head out when I got into a car. Two drove us to the station while the others including two other cars stayed to investigate, like they'd find anything. They had no idea what or where for that matter they were looking for. This was not a case they could solve. They had no idea what they were up against. Well, I didn't really either, but still I was better off, I knew how to pretty much deal with anything including those that were not supposed to exist in their minds.

Lilith looked around curiously as I buckled her and I in. she did not speak, but she didn't need to, her eyes said everything. She was nervous still and scared. The only reason she came out was basically because she didn't want to be forced to come out, so she thought she'd come out now, and try to calm down. I had to tell Lilith to let go of my arm. I couldn't feel it anymore. It was kinda dead at the moment. She hesitated, before she let go slowly then grasped my other non-numb arm.

The man who was not driving spoke to Lilith. Not really trying to get any information out of her, but more of trying to earn her trust, comfort her. And it was actually kind of working. He told her jokes and eventually got her to smile at one. I wasn't paying attention. I was staring out the window trying to figure out how to get the heck out of here. These jokes were stupid and annoying. Dare I think it, but Beastboy could have done a better job. I took deep breaths to keep myself from yelling and closed my eyes and kind of meditated. My magic words helped calm me.

I could feel Lilith tapping me. I tried to ignore it, but then she started pulling on my arm.

I sighed and opened one eye, "what?"

She looked up at me and smiled. "I still don't know your name" said she, "what is it?"

I opened my other eye and looked down at her.

"Raven, my name is Raven" I said.

Lilith loosened her grip on my arm. "I like that name" she said, she paused then asked "What's a Raven?"

I almost smiled, the key word being _almost_. She was kind of cute. Her voice was sweet and full of innocence. Had I even had that at that age? It seemed like since birth I had no innocence, that I was a kind of a monster. But that was all behind me now, all in the past. I was good. It didn't matter what blood you had, what you chose mattered.

"A raven is a big black bird. Kind of like a crow but bigger, smarter and prettier" I explained.

"Do you have a raven?" asked Lilith.

My eyes showed warmth in them for the first time in months and I actually smiled, just a little one, maybe I wouldn't even call it a smile.

"It depends on how you look at it. I do have a raven, but not in the way you would think."

Before Lilith could even respond the driver asked "how's that?"

Lilith's eyes asked the same question they were all curious.

"I may not have a physical raven…" I paused and explained to Lilith what physical meant, "Physical means the real thing, it's solid, and you can touch it. I don't have that, but I do have it spiritually". Before Lilith could even ask the question I explained it, "Spiritually means it's a part of you, you may be able to see it, but it's not solid, you can't touch it."

That was the simplest I could think of how to explain it. I don't even know why I said I had it spiritually. Lilith's innocence must be getting to me. It actually makes me feel like I can show myself, the real me and I kind of like that feeling.

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

I finally pulled the cloak of my head as she got in the car with me. I didn't really want to be forced to later, so why not come out now. I looked around myself. I had never been in a police car before, though I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Then she told me to let go of her arm. I looked at her, then slowly loosened my grip then grasped her other arm. I needed at least something to hold onto.

One of the men spoke to me. Him speaking made me nervous at first. After a few silly jokes I was beginning to feel more relaxed. I could sense her annoyance at the jokes. I decided to finally get her name, and hopefully stop the jokes and rid her of her annoyance. It seemed to work. She told me her name was Raven. She wanted to smile, but didn't. I wasn't really sure why. Then I asked her what her name meant and if she had one. Her explanation was somewhat confusing. It seemed to confuse the men up front too. At least I wasn't the only one confused.

I became quieter when we became closer to the station. I didn't know what was to happen. Not knowing made me more nervous. Raven could tell I was nervous and wanted to hide. She looked at me then put the cloak back over my head. She was going to let me hide? I was confused. She wasn't going to let them question me, or at least not right away.

* * *

><p>Raven POV<p>

Lilith began to grow quiet, well quieter. I knew we had to be getting close. She looked at me, her eyes asking me to give all the answers to her problems. I put my cloak over her head because one: I knew she wanted to hide and two: I couldn't stand to have her look at me that way. I felt like I was almost not protecting her anymore. She didn't want to be asked questions. She wanted to be left alone… with me.

I bit my lip, I needed to think, think of a way to get the two of us out of here as fast as possible. The fastest way would to simply teleport back home, but that didn't seem right and I was not about to be charged with kidnapping. There was no way I could do that. What was my other option?

My thought was cut short when the police man parked the car and he and his partner got out. I unbuckled Lilith quickly, and she basically jumped into my arms. I positioned her on my left hip, opened the door, stepped out, and let my eyes wander slightly. The town was small. The buildings were really small compared to the massive buildings of Jump City.

I gave a slight sigh when I felt Lilith put a tight grip on my arm. This was starting to get old real quick. I whispered to her to let go, that I probably needed both hands. I was pretty sure I didn't but I didn't really want her clinging to me right now. She let go, but was not happy about it. She held onto the inside of my cloak with tight fists, trying not to grasp my arm again.

I followed the police officers into the small station. Lilith pressed her head into me and closed her eyes tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tighter to help relax her. It worked until a lady came out and told me to get the blanket off the child in a not so polite tone.

My eyes narrowed, "First: it's a cloak, and Second: she's scared and needs time to adjust."

My voice was cold, but she took no note of it. She stopped then looked at me with a you-better-listen-to-me-now look. I glared back. The two police officers that had transported us did nothing to help. They just stood there, shifting back and forth nervously.

By now Lilith had grabbed my arm and was squeezing it with all her might. I could actually hear her heart beating faster. I knew no one else did but me, but well it was probably my powers or something. This woman angered me. Who did she think she was? She had no right to tell me what to do. She had no empathy for this little four year old. This was simply business to her. She wanted to ask the questions then get out of here. Children were obviously not her specialty. It wasn't mine either, but at least I was actually trying to help. She was just making things worse.

She raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to make her say it again. "Excuse me" she said.

"Do you have any idea what's she's been through tonight? Do you have no compassion? Both her parents were killed and she was being dragged to who knows where. If I hadn't showed up, she'd be gone. And you would have no idea that a murder even happened." I said in a loud firm tone.

"And you are?" she asked mockingly.

Something almost blew up when she said that. My eyes were on the verge of glowing with anger.

"Who am I… lady I could ask you the same question" I said almost growling.

The men looked back and forth, from me to her. They weren't sure what to do? She gasped. Apparently nobody had ever spoken to her that way in her entire life. I was pretty proud to be the first. Her eyes were burning with anger and distaste. I narrowed my eyes even further.

We were saved when an older woman came in and asked what was going on in a firm voice to the lady that was glaring at me.

Immediately, she straightened up, "oh nothing mam, just having a bit of a problem with cooperation" said she with a totally different tone of voice.

I had almost completely had it. I forced my eyes and muscles to relax and slowed my breathing. I shut my eyes and thought my magic words in my head over and over and over again. The older woman looked at me with curiosity. The younger one wondered what the hell I was doing.

Then finally one of the men spoke.

"If I may mam, say a word" said he.

I sensed the woman nod her head at him.

"This miss here is just trying to keep the little girl calm and well Ms. Clalm (claw-lem) is sort of causing tension. The girl will need some time to calm down and may need some coaxing, and well _her_ yelling is really not helping" said he.

The other man gave a slight nod of his head. I opened an eye to see what was happening. The older woman looked at the Ms. Clalm and told her politely to leave, that she was not needed. The young woman left with her nose in the air. I then opened my other eye and sighed. My sigh made Lilith's muscles relax and she held on loosely to my arm.

"I do apologize and hope you may accept it" she said.

I gave a slight nod then said "thank-you."

"I am Mrs. Kaelm (kay-lem). Perhaps we could have a seat and you can tell me what happened."

I only nodded. I didn't really trust my voice at the moment. It had been hard enough to say thank-you without yelling and in a more _normal_ voice as in what she would expect.

She motioned for me to follow then turned and began walking down a hallway. I followed behind, trying to keep my mind to myself and away from everybody else's. Lilith peeked out of the cloak to see where we were.

Once we were seated, Lilith actually took her head out of my cloak and gave a shy little smile to Mrs. Kaelm. She gave a warm smile back to her. Lilith then looked at me asking me with her eyes to tell the story first, that she was not ready yet. Mrs. Kaelm took the hint as well.

"May I know your names please?" she asked.

I responded calmly that the little girl was Lilith and that I was Raven.

"Your full names please. It must go down into the records." She said getting out a notepad and a pen.

Knowing Lilith did not want to say anything yet I quickly searched her mind for her full name.

"Lilith's full name is Lilith Anne Roeker (roe-cure), and mine is Raven Roth" I said quietly.

Lilith looked at me with a strange look. She was probably wondering how I knew her full name. After the woman had written down our names she asked me what time I heard the event, arrived, and what had happened.

With a straight face and calm voice I said _"I did not hear Lilith in trouble. I sensed it. I was meditating when her emotions washed over me and I heard her scream. It was about 2 pm where I was. I knew I had to do something. I could feel the evilness surrounding her. I disappeared, and then reappeared a little ways from where Lilith lay."_

Mrs. Kaelm looked at me strangely, but wrote down every word I said and I continued, _"Lilith's ankles were entangled with a chain made out of energy, almost the same energy that I possess. She was being dragged towards a portal by many shadow creatures. I didn't count how many there were, though I could tell your there were more than ten._ _They then attacked me. I defended myself and Lilith and imprisoned them within my mind to force information out of them later."_

The woman now looked at me like I was sort of crazy. She wasn't sure if she should believe this or not.

"_Lilith was crying when I picked her up. When I asked about her parents she told me they had killed them. I then flew to her house to contact the police since my phone had no power left. I did take a look at the murdering scene. It was pretty bloody and her parents were pretty much ripped apart." _

That's when I added "_you will find no evidence of who did it. If you find any evidence at all it will most likely be a remanence of the portal they opened or a sliver of their magic which you most likely won't find. And it wouldn't tell you who did it anyways"_. I paused for a second then said _"I know you don't really believe me. You need evidence. I swear that you full humans can't believe anything until you actually see it with your own two eyes." _

"Full human?" she asked, "then what does that make you?"

Lilith looked back and forth at us. She didn't really understand what was going on and what I meant by _full humans_.

"Half human" I said gently, trying not to freak her out to much.

Lilith looked up at me quizzically, "then what's your other half?" she asked innocently.

I met her gaze then said softly "you don't want to know Lilith. I'd rather not scare you." I said the second part quieter.

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

Being at the station only made things worse. Some lady came out and started yelling at us. We hadn't even done anything wrong. She scared me. I clung to Raven with all my might. Nobody was dragging me away from her. My heart pounded in my head and I trembled slightly. Raven was angry. You didn't really have to sense it to know. It was pretty obvious. Raven spoke to her, but it only seemed to make things worse.

Things quieted down right away when another woman entered the room. The first one acted like nothing had happened and like we were the ones causing the problem. I really dislike her. She made me angry. Raven's sigh of relief calmed me at once. My anger subsided.

The woman who saved us was nice. I liked her. She made me feel like I actually didn't need to be afraid. She led down the hall to an office. I peeped out from under the cloak to see where we were going. When the door was shut behind us I pushed the cloak back off my head and gave a small smile to her, thanking her. She smiled back. She had a nice smile.

I then looked up at Raven. There was no way I was talking first. Maybe I'd talk later. I listened carefully to my saver's story. I wondered where she was from, and if she had a family. Maybe I could meet them. My thoughts changed when she said something about full humans. This confused me. How could someone only be half human? What else was there? The fact that she didn't want to tell me bothered me. I really, really wanted to know. Maybe it was her other part that gave her, her powers. Wait, did that make me only part human too. Cause I did kind of have powers. Then what was I?

Mrs. Kaelm was utterly confused too. Maybe not as confused as I was since I already knew Raven had powers and had been there when she used them. Duh I was there; I was the one she was rescuing.

I began to sweat. I knew I was next. I would have to tell them my story. I wasn't even completely sure what that story was. I had to make up something for the part of me changing into, whatever I changed into. My breathing became shallower. I didn't think I could do this… yet… maybe never. My muscles tensed up and my eyes almost glowed white. I need to calm down I thought. Raven didn't even have a chance to calm me down before something exploded. The light bulb on the ceiling sparked then chattered. Mrs. Kaelm gave a surprised scream. Raven didn't even flinch.

* * *

><p><em>Raven POV<em>

Lilith began to get nervous. She knew that she would need to say at least something. She wasn't ready yet. I needed to calm her down and tell her that she didn't need to say anything yet. Before I could lift Lilith up a light bulb shattered. This startled Mrs. Kaelm greatly. She screamed and jumped out of her seat. I didn't even move.

"That wasn't me" I said confused.

If that wasn't me then who… oh boy…

"Lilith… was that…" I didn't finish my sentence before Lilith started crying.

That pretty much answered my question. But how did Lilith…. Was she part…? I was surprised. Nothing usually caught me off guard. But this… this was the last thing I was expecting. I hadn't even considered this. She couldn't have telekinesis. I didn't sense it when I saved her. I didn't sense anything unusual. How could I have missed this? How did Lilith hide it? I was still getting this through my head when something else exploded. The lamp on the desk became covered in black energy that… was like mine. It rose in the air then shattered.

Mrs. Kaelm didn't know what to do. She didn't even know what the heck was happening. I picked Lilith up and hugged her. I knew her eyes were glowing white underneath her eyelids. My eyes lit up to hold Lilith's powers back. I needed to keep them under control for her. She had no idea that with this kind of power came a lot of responsibility, and self-control. She was only four. She hadn't been raised like I had. The second I began to understand words I was being taught how to control my powers. She didn't know what these powers were. I was fairly certain at that point that Lilith had some demon in her. How much, I didn't know.

This was going to make things a bit harder to get out of here. None of these people here knew about people from, well… not earth. This was going to complicate things. And I still needed to contact my friends to tell them where I was. I couldn't let them take Lilith from me now. She needed me and without me she'd never learn how to control herself. It was important that I gain custody of her. I was the only person who could protect her, who would understand her.

I needed to calm things down and get these people to cooperate with me. So what if something had exploded. It could have been worse, a lot worse. A part demon not knowing how to control their demon side was dangerous. We were lucky that nothing worse had happened, that it was only a light bulb and lamp that exploded.

Lilith began to calm slowly. She was burying her tear stricken face into my right shoulder. My lit up eyes began to calm. They were barely glowing now.

"Lilith, it's okay. You don't have to be ashamed. I know how it feels. I won't let them take you away from me. You don't need to be afraid".

I paused. How was I supposed to tell her that it was her emotions that partly controlled her? This was a lot to take in at such a young age, especially when your parents were killed last night.

"Lilith, you need to calm down. You need to control yourself. You being upset and nervous are only going to make more things break" I said calmly. "Now, breathe in slow and deep. Hold it for a second then release it slowly."

Lilith began to follow my instructions. Tears stopped slipping from her eyes and she concentrated on her breathing. I breathed in and out slowly with her.

"Repeat after me, "Azerath Metrion Xinthos."

I knew these weren't her magic words, or I was at least hoping they weren't. I just thought they might help her think about something else and calm her even more. She began to say my three magic words. She didn't say them correctly, but they seemed to be helping anyway. I was beginning to sense her power. It felt kind of like mine, but I also felt something else, something very dark and probably not good. I couldn't figure out what it was though.

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

Raven began to ask me the question I didn't want to answer. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was trapped. I started crying. Then something else shattered, only making me feel worse. I shut my eyes tight, and just wished everything would go away, that this was a dream and I'd wake up in my bed, and my parents would be in the kitchen making breakfast. But I knew it was real. They were dead… and it was all my fault.

Raven lifted me up and hugged me. This gesture comforted me greatly. I felt something strange… like… my powers being lifted from me… or pushed back into me and locked up. She was controlling them for me… I think. I slowly began to calm myself down. She spoke to me saying that everything was okay and that she'd protect me, that she wouldn't let them take me from her. She really cared! I could sense it. I buried my face into her and gave a small sigh. She rocked me back and forth slightly then told me that I needed to control myself that those feelings I was feeling was only going to make things worse. I knew her intention was only to help, but it only made me more nervous. Then she instructed me to inhale and exhale slowly. She did it with me. The deep breaths helped. Anxiety began to slip away. Then she told me to speak three words. They were the three words I had heard her speak before. "

Aziath Metion Zinthos", I said.

I knew I wasn't pronouncing them exactly correct, but I couldn't pronounce the words very well. They were strange to me. They felt strange to speak. What language were they? What did they mean? Surprisingly, concentrating on saying the alien words helped calm me a lot, like… the feeling was indescribable. I hadn't ever felt this way. For the first time in my life I felt peaceful, relaxed, like there was nothing wrong. It was a wonderful feeling. I felt so at peace that I began to feel sleepy. I yawned and fought to keep my heavy eyes open. With another yawn my eyes close and I began to drift off to sleep into my own dreamland.


	3. Part 1: How it Started--Chapter 3

The Monster Within Me

Part One: How It Started

Chapter Three

* * *

><p><em>Raven POV<em>

Mrs. Kaelm was staring at the two of us with her mouth slightly ajar. She really had no idea what was going on. I would not meet her gaze. "It's rude to stare you know" I said with a hint of anger. The woman blinked then sat back down in her chair. She didn't say anything. She couldn't find her voice. She was frozen with confusedness and shock.

Lilith snuggled up against me in her sleep. This was sort of uncomfortable, not only was the fact that I was holding a small sleeping child that snuggling up against me, but the awkward silence. I glanced at Mrs. Kaelm. She wasn't quite starring anymore, but was still watching me.

"Well… this complicates things… doesn't it?"

I asked softly. The woman blinked, making herself come back to the real world.

"What… was… that…?" said Mrs. Kaelm, her voice almost quivering.

"Something exploding" I said dully, like it was obvious.

She shook her head, "no… … how…?"

This was starting to annoy me. I gave a sigh, met her eyes then said, "I'm only going to explain this once, so listen carefully."

When I saw a slight nod of her head I began to speak.

"Lilith is not normal… I am not normal… as you have seen. Lilith is… well I'm not actually sure, but I do have my theories. I on the other hand am not entirely human and am not from here… and by here I mean this planet. Unable to control her emotions Lilith's 'powers' destroyed the light bulb and lamp… which isn't really a big deal. It could have been a lot worse, so be thankful it was something small and something that can be easily replaced. You don't need to be afraid of me. If you look me up, you'll find that I live in Jump City and am part of the Teen Titans led by Robin, Batman's old sidekick." I paused, but only for a second. I just wanted to make sure she was getting all this. "Lilith needs to stay with me. Without me, chaos could erupt. I am the only one that can teach her how to properly control her powers. I know how they work, for mine are quite similar. … …. I also need to contact me friends… team, to let them know where I am, since my phone is not working and I'd rather not do it telepathically and plus I don't even know if I can do that from this far away" I finished.

She was staring at me wide eyed. I couldn't tell if she thought I was crazy or just couldn't comprehend what I had said very well. I was pretty sure it was both. Most people did think I was crazy when I told them this kind of stuff… except I don't ever tell anyone this kind of stuff, so I can only really assume. And my assumptions are pretty good, usually right on target.

"What do I need to do to gain custody of Lilith" I said slowly and calmly.

Mrs. Kaelm looked at me. She finally looked like she had snapped out of her trance.

"I will get the paper work…" she said quietly. She then exited the room.

I gave a sigh of relief. Maybe this wouldn't take too long. This has better not take long. I wanted out of here. I was starting to grow tired. I needed to meditate and rest and Lilith needed to sleep somewhere other than my arms. After a minute, I knew she would be gone for a little while. I looked at the phone, then picked it up and dialed the tower's number.

Robin answered it sleepily "hello…"

"What time is it there?" I said more relaxed.

My voice woke him up at once. He started yelling into the phone excitedly and relieved, "RAVEN… ARE YOU OK? WHERE ARE YOU? … …. YOU KNOW YOU HAD US WORRIED. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN?"

He kept rambling on.

I could now here Beastboy in the background, jumping up and down yelling "Dude… Like Where Is She?" and Starfire giggling in delight and asking basically the same question.

The only one who seemed to be calm was Cyborg. I could hear him trying to calm everyone down.

Eventually he gave up and grabbed the phone from Robin who yelled "HEY, I WAS USING THAT."

I rolled me eyes. They were acting ridiculous. Yes I had been gone for a while, but didn't they know I could take care of myself and if I was in danger they would have known by now.

Cyborg's calm voice came through the phone.

"You know every one's freaking out, right?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yea I can hear it" I said annoyed.

He chuckled, "so what're you up to?"

"Waiting in the police office, who knows where, trying to sort things out" I said more agitated.

"What'd you do this time?" asked Cyborg.

He could tell that I was growing frustrated.

"Saving a little girl from those stupid shadow creatures… kind of like those things that came after me that one time during the supposed end of the world. And to only to make matters worse I find out that she had powers like mine and is most likely part demon. Oh and they know about it too since she blew something up and now they know that I'm inhuman and … I just want the hell out of here!"

"So, why don't you…"

I cut him off before he could finish that sentence, "oh, right, just leave and have them totally freak out, and be arrested for kidnapping."

He sighed, "So… when will you be back?"

"As soon as I sign these damn papers" I said trying to calm down.

I didn't need to be frustrated. I just had to sign the papers, then I could leave … right? I could hear a few crashes on the other side of the phone. Robin was trying to get the phone back and both Starfire and Beastboy were trying as well because they all wanted to talk to me. I rolled my eyes as I hung up. This conversation is over.

Lilith stirred slightly in my arms, but did not wake. She was dreaming. Of what, I did not know. I could find out easily, but I'd rather not invade her space, when I sense no anxiousness in her. As soon as I feel it, I'll go in.

I began to sense something. Something was wrong. Not in Lilith's mind, but somewhere else. What was it? I concentrated and shut my eyes as I searched for the disturbance I felt. Then an alarm went off, startling me out of my senses and startling Lilith out of her sleep. Her eyes slammed open immediately and she grasped both my arms with her small hands. She was breathing slightly heavier. She didn't know what was going on. She had just been woken from a sound sleep, scaring the hell out of her. When she realized nothing was attacking the two of us and that we were alone in a room she calmed down a bit. Her grip loosened on my arm, and her fingernails stopped stabbing me.

She looked up at me slowly with a confused look then asked quite innocently, "What's wrong?"

I met the little girl's naive gaze, "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

Her eyes held a small bit of fear. I had to reassure her that nothing would hurt her, that she was completely safe.

She hugged me tightly, and then said quietly "I love you."

I was stunned and mystified. I hadn't heard those three words in such a long time. When was the last time someone had told me that they loved me? It almost felt like never. Had anyone ever said those three consequential words to me? I actually didn't know the answer. I… couldn't remember. I hugged Lilith back. How could she love me? We hadn't even known each other very long. Perhaps, the way a little girl feels love and the way a fully grown girl feels love is completely different. Yes, I suppose I do care about her, but I'm not sure if it was enough to call love?

As I stood there, hugging Lilith in my arms I finally began to sense what was wrong? Well, the reason why the alarm went off … and something else. One: there was a large fire and Two: the shadow creatures were back. It was most likely them that had started the fire. I knew their intentions. They wanted to lure me out, so they could grab hold of Lilith. Why was Lilith so important to them? What did they want with her?

I pulled Lilith off of me and set her on the ground. She looked up at me with a puzzled expression.

"Lilith… I will be right back. I need to do something."

Upon hearing that I had to do something made Lilith very nervous. She knew something was really wrong if I had to leave her. She immediately grabbed my right wrist with both hands and held me firmly.

"No…" said Lilith tears starting to well up in her eyes, "I want you with me."

I gave a slight sigh. I didn't really have time for this. I picked Lilith up, "I have to keep you safe Lilith. I will be with you again in a few minutes. I'm not going to let anything hurt you."

Lilith reluctantly let go of my wrist. Tears were sliding down her face.

She hugged me, "be safe … be back soon…"

I sat her down in a chair and looked a Lilith sternly, "Stay Here. You will be safe here."

When I saw Lilith nod her head I left, but not without setting a barrier around her with me powers. Nothing could get in, and nothing could get out.

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

An alarm startled me out of my sleep. No. it scared me out of my sleep. It was loud. I wanted to cover my ears, but I grabbed onto Raven instead. I didn't know what was going on. We might be under attack. I quickly looked around. Nothing was there. Only me and her were in the room. I was safe… for the moment. I was confused. If we weren't being attacked then why was a loud alarm going off. I asked Raven what was wrong. She looked down at me. She didn't know what was wrong. She was trying to sense it. I was fearful. She didn't know what was wrong. How was that? She knew everything...right?

I drew myself into her more than said "I love you" quietly.

She held me closely and tightly. I could feel the warmth radiating from her body.

I laid my head against her. I Never Ever Wanted Her to Leave Me. She was my protector. She cared about me. She knew how to control my powers. She was the only one who could teach me what these powers were.

All of a sudden Raven put me on the grown. I was confused. She looked distressed. Then she told me she had to leave me. I grasped her tightly. I couldn't let her go. What if she didn't come back? What if whatever it was got me while she was away? There were so many possibilities. I couldn't think of anything positive.

Then she picked me up. I was relieved. She was going to take me with her. At least that's what I thought. She wasn't taking me with her. She was trying to tell me why I had to stay behind. I didn't want to listen. I wanted to be next to her.

She sat me down in a chair and told me to stay put. I nodded my head sadly. If I didn't obey I'd make her mad and probably get in her way. It would be better this way. That's what my mind kept telling me anyways. My feelings told me differently. I needed to go. She needed me. I needed her… … it went on and on.

She was about to leave when she stopped. Hope grasped me. Was she changing her mind? No. She wasn't. She put her powers around me to keep me safe… and probably to keep me in as well. Then she disappeared into thin air.

* * *

><p><em>Raven POV<em>

I slid my cloak back on before I disappeared. Once in the sky I scanned the area. I could see a big cloud of smoke not far away. Every fire truck available was at the scene trying to put the hot blazing fire out, but not having much luck. The fire was too big and it was spreading. I needed to put it out.

I flew over to the fire, my eyes glowing white underneath my hood. Anyone I sensed in the flaming buildings I covered with my negative energy and teleported them out right away. When I was sure everyone was out I began to focus on depressing the fire. My unusual energy swirled around my hands. I threw it at the fire trying to suffocate it. It was working, but not fast enough. With a shout of my magic words blackness began to cover each building aflame. I pushed down, making the area inside my enclosed energy smaller. Without enough oxygen, the fire began to die down.

I could feel all the eyes on me. Everyone was staring at me with amazement, gratitude, bewilderment and so many more emotions that I could not identify. When the fire was completely out the townspeople began to clap. Some shouted and some whistled. I ignored the praise, this was far from over. My sense of the shadow creatures was growing stronger. They were close. I shut my eyes as I hovered in the air, simply waiting for the attack that was sure to come.

Black light appeared in the sky as the creatures came forward. They snarled at me angrily. I did not flinch and I did not open my eyes. I waited, patiently for the attack. When I felt movement, I opened my eyes slowly. My glowing white eyes turned to black. The shadow creatures ran at me. I was surrounded with no supposed place to go. I narrowed my eyes and smirked slightly. I had been counting on this. They were so predictable. I did not attack until they were almost on top of me. Energy surrounded my entire body and shot outward like uncontrollable lightning. Before they even knew what was happening I had them, all in my grasp. Each one was chained in place with my dark matter. All of them thrashed around, trying to free themselves. They clawed and bit at my energy chains. I tightened my grip on the beasts, making a few yelp and whimper. The stronger ones would not give up. They continued to snarl and thrash around in my grip.

I spoke, sending chills down everyone's spines.

"Who is your master?" I questioned slowly and eerily calmly.

Most of the beasts shook and whimpered with fear. They knew their fate was sealed. There was no escaping me. There was absolutely no chance for survival. None of them answered, which was typical of them. They would need more fear if I was going to get anything out of them. I hesitated before I clenched the chain holding them tighter. I did not wish to scare these townspeople. I was not there enemy. How was I supposed to work with them to get Lilith if they were terrified of me?

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

I banged against the barrier holding me. I wanted out. I did not wish to be caged. I wanted to help. I wanted to feel her presence. It didn't even seem to matter what I wanted. Nothing happened. I couldn't get out.

I gave up after a few minutes. There was no point in hitting the walls of my imprisonment if they would not break. She was strong, too strong for me. So instead I sat there in the chair and starred at a wall. I was bored. I needed something to do.

* * *

><p><em>Raven POV<em>

I reluctantly let them go with a warning. I teleported the shadow beasts back to wherever they had come from, then I teleported as well. Lilith needed me. She needed me to hold her and tell her that she was okay, that I had defeated them. When I was back in the room with Lilith, I released the barrier around her. She was so happy to see me that she flew into my arms, literally. Her feet actually left the ground and she slammed into me making me fall to the ground. She toppled over with me, giggling. She was so happy to see me that she could hardly contain herself. I sighed, then counted down from three, knowing something would explode when I reached zero. Nothing exploded, it was much worse. Her hair lifted into the air, her eyes turned white and black energy surrounded her and shot outwards tearing the room apart. Lilith didn't even realize what she was doing. She was too busy hugging me to death and telling me how happy she was to see me. I had to push her off of me to get her to notice what her uncontrollable powers were doing. She gave a frown, realizing that she was destroying the room by accident. She then looked at me for guidance. I rolled my eyes at her slightly then gained control of her powers for her.

I stood up and looked around at the damage. It appeared that it was only this room we were in that was torn to pieces. Everything was chattered into small pieces and one of the walls was completely demolished, letting the last rays of the sun into the room.

With a guilty face Lilith reluctantly looked at me and said in a quiet whisper "sorry…"

I shook my head at her, "it isn't your fault. You don't have any real idea how to control your powers. You will learn in time."

I paused then said, "at least it was only this room", then I sighed, "Guess I gotta fix it… huh?"

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

I could feel her energy has she teleported back. Happiness surged within my body. With a wave of her hand the black barrier around me disappeared. I ran into her arms as fast as I could. I wanted her safe arms around me. Now! I jumped on top of Raven, making her loose her balance. We both came crashing to the ground. I slipped my arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. She may have been gone for not very long, but I had still missed her.

Suddenly Raven pushed me off of her. When I looked up I could see the room being destroyed by my powers. I frowned. I didn't like that I didn't have any control over them. I didn't want to break anything. My eyes went to Raven for help. Once our eyes met my powers began to calm down. She was once again gaining control of them for me. Guilt began to cling to me. I felt bad that I had unknowingly just ruined the room. I hesitantly looked up at my protector and said I was sorry, very softly. Her eyes were soft as they looked at me. She shook her head, telling me that it wasn't my fault. She told me I would learn how to use them in time. I only nodded my head slightly.

She then sighed. I watched her, wondering what was wrong.

She looked at me slightly dull then spoke, "Guess I gotta fix it huh?"

Guilt once again spread across my face. A bit of color entered my cheeks. I didn't want her to have to clean up my mess, but I had no idea how to do it. She smiled slightly at me. At least I think it was a smile. Then she picked me up and held me, propping me against her right hip. Her eyes glowed white for a few seconds as everything broken magically became whole. I looked around in wonder as things were lifted in the air by an invisible force then placed in their correct place. When would I be able to do that? Exactly what kind of things could I do? Would I ever be fully in control, not of the power within me, but of the beast within me? I didn't want to hurt anyone ever again, but I had absolutely no idea what had even happened. Why had I changed? What was wrong with me? So many questions filled my small mind that I actually started crying slightly. I was too confused. Nothing made any since anymore. So I buried my head in her shoulder and wept silently. My fists held her cape tightly.

I knew she was watching me. I could feel her gaze on me. She wrapped both arms around me then drew me closer and rocked back and forth slightly.

"I want to go home" I cried.

She was silent for a moment before she spoke.

"We will go home soon. My home, will be yours" she said, her voice light.

Her home, mine? That wasn't exactly what I meant, but it did sound nice. I began to fall asleep again as she mumbled to herself about something.

* * *

><p><em>Raven POV<em>

Lilith's face was full of guilt. I sighed internally. I didn't want her to feel guilty about this. It wasn't her fault and I could easily fix it, which I did. I held her tightly against my chest as she cried silently. "I want to go home" she cried suddenly. I honestly wanted to go home too. I didn't like it here either, but she wanted to go home as in wanted everything to be back the way it was, as in her parents alive and not dead. This of course would never happen. One cannot undo death when the soul has completely passed on.

She would go home. Maybe not to the one she expected, but it would be her home all the same. She would stay with me, live in the tower with my teammates and I. I told her this calmly. The sentence seemed to calm her. As she began to fall asleep I mumbled to myself, "we better be able to go home after I sign these stupid papers"!

After a few minutes Mrs. Kaelm came into the room. She had a large stack of papers in her room. A groan almost escaped me, but I caught it before it sounded. How many papers did I have to sign? The women smiled softly when she noticed Lilith sound asleep in my arms.

Her voice was quiet when she spoke, so that she wouldn't wake the sleeping child, "I apologize for taking so long. The file cabinets are in need of organizing."

She smiled sheepishly then set the papers on her desk and sat down in her chair. She glanced around the room noticing something was different.

"Wasn't that lamp broken?" she asked.

Broken wasn't the correct word to describe it. It had been completely shattered.

"Yes" I said softly, "I fixed it when I fixed the entire room when Lilith accidently made a mess of things."

The women simply nodded then cleared her throat. It was time to get down to business.

The paper work was long and slightly annoying. It seemed they needed to know everything about me. They wanted to know place of birth including the date. They also needed to know where I lived, what qualifications I had and almost everything about my past. The information needed seemed to go on forever.

_Personal Information_

_Name: Raven Roth_

_Name of Spouse: None_

_Place of Birth: Azarath_

_Date of Birth: July 29, 1993_

_Residence: Titans Tower_

_Occupation: Superhero_

_Company of work: Justice League_

_Home Phone: 456-789-0911_

_Work Phone: none_

_Other Phone: 456-789-0912_

_Background_

_Mother: Arella Roth_

_Father: Trigon_

_Mother's Residence: Azarath_

_Father's Residence: Deceased_

_Mother's Occupation: Unknown_

_Father's Occupation: Unknown_

_Mother's Phone: None_

_Father's Phone: None_

P_ersonality_

_Good Traits: Patience, Empathic, Calm, Serious, Caring, Protective, Ambitious, Mature_

_Bad Traits: Sarcastic, tend to be unemotional, quiet_

I didn't answer a lot of the questions. Most of them didn't really have an answer. The answers I did give didn't always make sense. Why give them my personal information if they're not going to be able to find the information anywhere on the computer. This is pointless; I'm half human and not even from this dimension.

When I was done I handed the stack of papers back to Mrs. Kaelm and told her in a slightly annoyed voice, "some of the information may not make sense, since I'm not from here and you can look all you want, but there is no information on me anywhere except the publicity I get from time to time."

Not wanting to go further into the inhuman conversation Mrs. Kaelm nodded her head and rose from her chair, "You may go now. Don't be surprised when we show up on your doorstep in a few weeks or so. We'll want to check on Lilith and make sure your home is acceptable."

Raven sighed slightly, but nodded her head in agreement then disappeared.


	4. Part 1: How it Started--Chapter 4

The Monster Within Me

Parr One: How it started

Chapter Four

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

I felt a coldness wash over me in my sleep. I shivered slightly and buried my head into my protector. I felt her cloak being wrapped around me tighter and I relaxed at once.

I was safe…

Nothing could hurt me…

I had a home…

And it was all thanks to this older girl named Raven.

As I was set down I drifted off back into a deep slumber, where I sensed nothing.

* * *

><p><em>Raven POV<em>

I could feel Lilith's shiver against me as we traveled through darkness. The coldness had never bothered me, I actually didn't even really feel it, but Lilith had never teleported before. She didn't know what this coldness was. I lifted up part of my cloak and wrapped it tightly around her. Her small hands grasped the fabric instantly and she rolled towards my breast where she tried to bury her head.

I smiled slightly. … "Slightly" being the key word here. Lilith was different. While most children ran from me with fright, she snuggled up against me. Instead of giving me strange looks, she looked at me with complete acceptance and a curiosity that every child had. It made me feel as if I was almost normal… almost, not quite.

When we appeared in my room it was completely dark outside. The average person wouldn't have been able to see their own hand in front of their face in my dark room, but I on the other hand, had had no difficulty seeing. Unlike most, the dark made me feel safe and at peace.

I gently slid my cloak off and set Lilith, still wrapped in part of my cloak in the center of my bed. She was exhausted. All this excitement had tuckered her out. She needed to rest. I did not wish to wake her up. Plus I wanted to let my friends know what was going on before they saw her.

I walked over to my closet and pulled a cloak off of a hanger since the one I had been wearing was already taken by a small sleeping child. I adjusted my hood so that you could actually see most of my face with it still being on my head. I looked at Lilith as my hand went to the door. She was curled up with her face almost all the way covered up by the oversized cloak. Both her hands clutched the cloth gently. She looked so peaceful. It was amazing how a child could hold so much simple beauty. As the door began to slide open I whispered "sweet dreams Lilith" then quickly exited the room and let the door slide back into place.

As I walked down the hall I shut my eyes gently. It felt good to be home; surrounded by the ones you cared about and in turn cared about you. A family was something so simple but yet brought the feeling of invincibility, a powerful emotion.

I opened my eyes as I neared the common room. I could hear the familiar argument of Beastboy and Cyborg as they played their dumb video game and Starfire trying to bring peace between them and Robin urging Starfire to just leave it. Yep, this was defiantly home.

I walked straight into the kitchen to make some tea without saying a word. I knew I wouldn't need to, they'd ask. Robin looked up from the table where he was studying a case for the police.

"Raven!" he exclaimed in surprise.

At the sound of my name everyone on the couch whirled around. Starfire jumped up with glee where she continued to jump up and down in excitement. Beastboy also jumped up with surprise and startlement from Robin's yell. Cyborg was the only one who stood up semi calmly.

I didn't bother to reply to Robin's call. I knew everyone would start talking at once and I wouldn't be able to say anything, so I poured some water into a tea kettle instead and counted down from three in my head. On zero everyone began talking at once. I didn't even listen. I'd explain in a minute, but first I needed to get my tea made. I desperately needed a cup. Today had been a bit stressful. Even though it was all under control it would still be nice to let it melt away with a hot cup of tea.

When they began to quiet down, realizing I wasn't paying them any attention, I turned around to look at them. I met each of their eyes quickly, to make sure I would not be interrupted while I spoke. When I was satisfied with the quietness I spoke.

"I sensed something wrong while I was meditating earlier" I said flatly.

"Uh you mean like way earlier, right?" said Beastboy.

I glared at him for a second before continuing. I should have known that he would interrupt me. He could never keep quiet when anyone spoke.

I continued with my icy cold eyes still on him, "A little girl was being attacked…"

Before I could even finish Beastboy blurted out once again, "by what … who was attacking her."

I stopped annoyed with his outbreaks. The others looked at the green boy somewhat warily. They were expecting something to happen. They were expecting a sort of comeback from me. I did no such thing. Instead I turned back to my tea kettle, which was whistling now and began pouring it into a mug. Everything was quiet. Beastboy was just realizing his mistake and had taken a step back in nervousness. He opened his mouth to apologize, but stopped. He wasn't sure what kind of mood I was in and if I was going to accept it or yell at him. He decided to play it safe and not say anything.

After the steaming water was in the mug I reached for a tea bag and plopped it into the water. Everything was quiet. Beastboy was beginning to sweat nervously thinking he ticked me off. I smiled to myself slightly. He hadn't really bothered me too much; I was basically playing with him. I was testing him, seeing how long he'd last until he broke with crazed nervousness and fear.

Robin finally broke the silence and asked with a confident voice, "Well, what happened?"

I turned my head to look at him. "_If_ I can speak _without_ being _interrupted_" I said glancing at Beastboy, "I'd _gladly_ continue."

Beastboy gave a nervous laugh and yet again took another step back. Did he really think that I was going to hurt him?

Everyone looked at Beastboy, waiting for his answer. He looked down at his feet, like a child would when caught doing something wrong.

"I'll be quiet" he said quietly, almost whiningly.

He raised his eyes slightly and our eyes me. I gave him a playful evil glare. He just about jumped out of his skin and I almost started laughing. This was too easy. I could scare him with one look so easily.

I caught Robin rolling his eyes at Beastboy and I as he saw Beastboy jump slightly. I in turn rolled my eyes right back at him. He started to roll his eyes again when he stopped. I had raised an eyebrow and was almost smiling. Was he really going to try and beat me at my own game? With a huff Robin gestured his hand forward, telling me to continue. I quickly nodded my head then began.

"_While meditating earlier I sensed a disturbance in the planet's atmosphere. I narrowed in on it and heard a little girl screaming. Without thinking, I teleported straight to her. She was being attacked by shadow creatures, which means something powerful and out of this world wanted her. I fought and stored them within my mind to question them later."_

I paused, the last sentence reminding me that I hadn't actually done that yet. They were still trapped within my mind, waiting for me to free them. With another breath I continued.

"_The girl's name is Lilith and she's only four."_

Hearing how young the girl was, Starfire gave a surprised gasp. She didn't understand why one would attack one who is so weak, especially when that someone was merely a young child. Not only Starfire was surprised by this. Nearly everyone was. Robin's face was stone still, every emotion gone from his face, so that no one except I could tell what he was thinking.

"_Both of Lilith's parents are dead, most likely killed off by those damned beasts. She was an orphan." _

Starfire looked as if she was about to cry. Beastboy's eyes were the size of saucers and Cyborg was staring at me with a kind of empathy. Robin continued along with his poker-face; though he was the only one to take notice of me using past tense instead of present tense when explaining that Lilith was an orphan. He had taken the hint that I had done something about this and he let me know with a slight raise of his left eyebrow.

I skipped ahead in my story, wanting to finish it quickly. They didn't need to know every little detail. I had already gone through this once and didn't like the fact I had to do it all over again.

_After notifying the local police of the otherworldly murder, I went to the police station; where I gained custody of Lilith."_

Before anyone could say anything I added quickly_, "she's currently asleep in my room. I don't think she is entirely human. I have found that she has powers similar to mine"_

Everyone was quiet. My story had yet to be processed completely by their brains. Starfire was the first who grasped the fact that I actually had a little girl asleep in my room and that she was staying with us. She immediately jumped up into the air with glee and began shouting how she was so excited to meet Lilith. Robin was looking at me with a _you-know-you're-going-to-tell-me-more-later_ look. I did not meet his gaze. If I didn't want to say anything else on the matter I wouldn't; even if it was _him_ asking.

I began to sip at my tea before it could get much colder. Robin still had his eyes on me. Starfire was floating in the air yelling whatever. Beastboy still looked half confused and Cyborg was standing there in thought, completely lost from the world.

* * *

><p><em>My POV<em>

I dreamt of absolutely nothing. The only thing I saw was darkness. The only thing I heard was my own slow breathing and my even heartbeat. I was curled up in a ball, asleep in my _new _home. I didn't have a clue to where my _new_ home was. All I knew was that I was laying on something soft most likely a bed wrapped up in my new mother's cape. Am I aloud to call her that? I mean she is my caretaker now, so what else would I call her. Anyways I knew I was lying on a bed in a very dark room in some kind of building. I could sense others. Four others, not counting Raven.

Who were these people? Her friends? Siblings? Family? I didn't have the slightest idea. As I thought about this I rolled over slightly in my sleep and pulled the cloak over my head. I was feeling quite vulnerable.

_I was in a strange room all by myself. Something could get me and no one would even know it._

That last thought woke me. How did I know I was safe here if she wasn't with me? I quickly sat up then slowly slid the cape off my head. I slowly looked around. I couldn't really see anything. It was too dark.

_What if something was hiding in the dark? I wouldn't be able to see it._

I was barely breathing. Fear was creeping over me. I was almost shaking.

I continued to sit there too scared to move. Then I heard a crash. Thinking something was after me I jumped, pulled the piece of clothing over me and ran screaming out of the room. I had no idea where I was going. I was running on instincts alone. Not knowing where the door was I ran through the wall. It barely felt like I touched anything.

The hall was lit, but I couldn't see a thing. Forgetting that the clothing was covering my head I began freaking out more. Why couldn't I see? Where was I? Then there was another crash and I was off again.

I ran down the hall screaming at the top of my lungs, running as fast as my legs would carry me. I heard my name being called then I crashed into something. I instantly clutched it, knowing it was her. I wrapped my arms and legs around her waist as we both fell to the ground.

I didn't move an inch. I shut my eyes tight and hoped whatever had been chasing me was gone. _She was here, she would protect me._ I squeezed her with all the strength I had. I wanted to feel safe again.

I could hear voices. I didn't recognize any of them. I gave a slight whimper. "Please go away!" I screamed in my head over and over again. I felt the blanket being lifted off of me. I quickly grabbed it and pulled it around me tighter.

* * *

><p>Raven POV<p>

Robin opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off with a raise of my hand. I had just sensed something break in my room. Both robin and I jumped as we heard screaming. "Lilith" was the first thought that entered my mind. What was wrong?

Robin looked at me for an answer. There was a crash then the sound of running and the continuing screaming. I ran out into the hall. She was scared and needed me.

Maybe my room wasn't the best place to put her. It was dark and well, creepy. At least that's what everyone else says, but for a small child, it would probably be somewhat worse.

I called out her name as she came into view. Upon hearing my voice she appeared to speed up. Everything happened so fast. I didn't even have time to move. She leapt up into the air to grab a hold on me. The force of her running and jumping made me fall back. It was in midair that she wrapped her limbs around my waist.

I lay there, sprawled out on the ground for a moment before trying to sit up. Robin was of course by my side first. He tried to pull my cloak off of the small child. Lilith didn't seem to like that, because she pulled it tighter around herself. Before Robin could hank the covering off her I grabbed his arm and gave him a slight glare. He had been foolish to try to pull that fabric off of her. She needed time to recuperate.

I leaned my back against the wall and held her tightly. I knew exactly what had happened. Once she had woken up her fear took control of her power and blew something up. Lilith didn't know it had been her own self that had done it. She simply thought something was trying to get her.

My hand found an opening in the cloth and I reached in to stroke her hair gently. I could feel her sigh. She finally began to calm. I raised my other hand and motioned for my friends to back up a little. She needed some space. She wouldn't want to be surrounded when I took my cloak off. I knew I wouldn't.

I spoke to her softly, "Lilith, are you okay."

I could hear her give a slight whimper, "is it gone?"

I gently slipped my cloak off her head to look at her. There was still a great amount of fear still in her eyes.

"Lilith, nothing was chasing you" I said calmly.

She looked at me confused.

"What do you mean? … I heard…"

I interrupted her sentence.

"It was all you. You still don't have control of your powers yet" I said gently.

The girl looked at me even more confused. It was then that she began to realize there were others around us. Lilith looked behind her shyly, and then quickly turned back to me.

I began to stand up, still holding on tightly to the child.

"Lilith, I have some people I want you to meet."

Our eyes met. She was curious, I could tell.

The introduction went quite well, it took only mere minutes for her to feel completely comfortable with the rest of my team. The chase was almost completely forgotten now as Lilith skipped into the kitchen holding Starfire's hand.

Soon only Robin and I were left in the hall.

He was smiling at me, "you did a good job Raven."

I almost blushed at the compliment. I had expected that I'd get yelled at for bringing a child home with me. A compliment was the last thing I had been expecting.

"You're not mad?" I asked surprised.

He looked at me with a raise of his eyebrow, "mad? Why would I be mad?"

"I..I don't know" I said truthfully looking away.

He took my hand in his. I looked back at him.

"Come on; let's go join the rest of the _family_."

I beamed slightly at him. He had said family. He had even emphasized it too.


End file.
